02/ 18/ 2017
Cory got sick on the first day of the new year and we decided to make a month of it. The kids got sick and now I’m sick and if this is foreshadowing what 2017 has to offer, I don’t want it. That was a bit dramatic. I take it back. If 2017 means cuddles and mediocre television and lots of hugs, I’ll take it.
I’m actually all sorts of jazzed for 2017. This is the first summer I won’t have an infant. Zeke will basically be a toddler and will (hopefully!!) be walking by the time summer rolls around.We’re going to Disneyland with my family this fall and I can’t wait. Cory and I have a lot of lists and camping trips planned. Looking back on this list, I guess I’m mostly excited for summer. Summer’s going to be a rill good time.
I’m also really excited to keep vlogging. I don’t know if that’s what you call what I do over on YouTube, but I never know what to call what I do online. I’m kind of just here, doing whatever I want. It’s very YOLO of me. I’m so proud of that dumb little channel. It feels so good to be creating something for me. I love motherhood so much. Being a mom has always been my first and biggest dream. But it is so, so good and fulfilling to learn a new skill (I’m looking at you, Adobe. Ya little devil) and to do something completely removed from my home life. Yes, I mostly talk about my kids, but this feels separate from that. I can’t explain it. But I feel so proud of myself for being brave and trying something new and sticking with it.
I’ve struggled with the thought of being openly proud of yourself. I used to get really awkward when friends or family told me they read my blog. Like, “Oh. What? I mean. Okay, yeah. Cool.” I think I thought it was cocky to think you were good at something. That it was only okay for other people to be proud of you and totally inappropriate to be proud of yourself. But you know what? I’m over it.
I don’t care if you think that’s dumb. I don’t care if you think I’m dumb. I’m doing this for me and if I can help other ladies feel less alone when it comes to their butter eating, phantom peeing children, you bet your bottom dollar I’m going to keep doing it. Motherhood can be so lonely. You’re surrounded by children all day and while you love them with all your heart, it’s hard to completely relate with someone who eats their boogers. (Yeah. We’re working on it.) I’ve found the more I talk about my motherhood, the less alone I feel. And not in a “I don’t have any real friends” way, but in a “Oh my goodness. Everyone cries over crappy take-out. These are my people” Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and tell the simplest, seemingly inane stories about your every day life to realize so many other people have the same days and the same stories. We’re not as isolated as we think.
I’ve always heard it takes a village to raise a child. The older I get and the more kids I have (not an announcement) the more I realize that village is so much more than helping a stranger in the grocery store with a fussy baby. It’s about an emotional village. This world of social media has allowed us the incredible opportunity to create our own cul-de-sacs. We can handpick our neighbors. Dear friends – real or virtual – who cheer us on, who cry with us, who laugh with us, who celebrate our victories and who understand and share our dream of one day jumping on a tramp without peeing a little bit. I’m not saying I have to be your next door neighbor (save that for Sally and her award winning cookies), but if you feel like I’m someone who gets it (and you) enough to be in your neighborhood, I’m honored.
More sisterhood in motherhood never hurt anybody.