08/ 18/ 2016

I’m not sorry

006

A few weeks ago, Cory nominated me for an “I’m a Mom” video series. In his application he told them about me and what my motherhood looked like. A few days later we had a video call scheduled so the company could get to know me better. During the interview, I was asked what a typical day looked like for me.

Here’s a basic rundown:
I wake up between 6:30-7:30. The kids eat breakfast while I feed Zeke. I empty the dishwasher from the night before while they finish up breakfast, then they play while I eat. It should be noted that 90% of the time, Jude and Ezra turn into little beggars when I eat. We eat the same thing almost every morning, but according to them, anything from my plate is more delicious than anything from theirs. This same rule applies to floor food. Floor food is infinitely better than plate food. After my first and their second breakfast, we get dressed and, depending on the day, go do something. We’ll go to Dinosaur Park, have play dates, visit my mom, run errands, play in the backyard, or clean the house. After lunch, I try to shoot for a triple nap time. Life is so, so great when they all nap at the same time. I love them all the time, but I swear I love them a little bit more when I’m able to sneak in two hours of alone time during the day.  It’s a blur of backyard play, dinner prep and tantrums until Cory comes home. Then we have dinner, play outside, give them baths, read books, say prayers, give hugs and kisses and tuck them in. Whew!

When I finished my synopsis, I was met with some blinks, a nod and an awkward transition into another topic. Later in the conversation, he asked me if I had any hobbies. I told him I liked to write and read but spent the majority of my time with my three kids two and under and he just stared at me again. Before the interview ended, he asked one more time if I had any fun hobbies. Probably hoping I’d taken up free climbing in the three minutes that’d passed since he last asked. I smiled and repeated my love of writing and reading and threw in Netflix for good measure. I joked that they were great hobbies but made terrible B-roll and hoped my sense of humor would make up for my lack of kayaking skills.

I’m good at interviews. I smile well, I have good rapport and I can sell the crap out of myself. I honestly can’t recall having a bad interview. I may not have always landed the job, but I always left a good impression. This was the first time in my life I felt uneasy after an interview. I know my life isn’t boring, but that interview left me feeling so insecure. After I put Zeke down, I asked Cory if I was a boring person with a boring life. He squeezed me tight and assured me I wasn’t.  He said even though my interests aren’t adventurous, they’re fun to me and I’m good at them. He’s so good to me.

Am I busy? Yes.
Are my days exciting? Sometimes.
Is my life boring? No.

Jude can count to 13. She knows her ABCs. She knows more than just her basic shapes. I’m talking crescents and hexagons, people! Ezra says new words every day and his comprehension is through the roof. He has a crazy strong arm and will undoubtedly be the best quarterback the Coug’s have had in years. Zeke is the happiest little chunk who clicks his tongue, rolls all over the place and laughs when you look at him. These ordinary things may not mean much to others but they mean everything to me.

I may have been too boring for a video on motherhood, but I honestly don’t understand what they were looking for. How is any mom is “too boring”? Everyone’s experience with motherhood is unique. My motherhood is covered in snotty peanut butter kisses. It’s grocery shopping as fast as I can between breakfast and nap time. It’s lying on the grass and looking for kangaroo clouds. It’s finding a way to stay calm when everyone’s crying and clinging to me and I just want space.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what your motherhood looks like because we can all agree motherhood is wonderful and exhausting. The days are long and the focus is hardly ever on yourself. So it’s okay if all I can manage to do at the end of the day is sit down and watch Bachelor in Paradise. It’s okay to write down my feelings instead of punching them out. It’s okay that my version of sanity looks different than yours. Just because my every day may seem boring to an outsider, doesn’t mean it is and it doesn’t mean am. I hate that a 10-minute interview made me doubt that.

I’m not going to apologize for my “boring” hobbies or my ordinary days. I’m not going to apologize for loving the Bachelor franchise- even though I probably should. And I’m definitely not going to apologize for a life I love so completely.  It’s been a few weeks since it happened and while I’m (mostly) over it, sometimes I think about how bored that interviewer was by me. After all his blinks and stares and talk of exciting hobbies, I bet you five bucks he went home and binged Stranger Things like the adventurer he is.

eyeroll

 

 



7 responses to “I’m not sorry”

  1. Emily says:

    LOVE THIS AND LOVE YOU

  2. I love this! You are seriously one of the least boring people I know. And I mean that wholeheartedly. I do the same thing. When I see couples that go hiking, rock climbing, biking, wake boarding, skiing, or insert anything else adventurous together then I feel so much like you. Like I am probably the world’s most boring person. However, again I can assure you that you are not and you are an amazing mom and an amazing example to me! Keep being you! There is only one of you and I am grateful I know you and I can guarantee that Cory and your three beautiful children think you are the most amazing person they know!

    Ok. I’m done with my novel! Love you! Have a good day!

  3. Danielle says:

    Thank you for sharing! Loved this post. It’s simply the truth. I’m entertained (as a complete stranger) by just your Instagram posts thatI realized I always clicked on at random so I just started following you. Adorable kids, beautiful marriage (from pictures), fun life through pictures!!

  4. Shaylynn says:

    you are a marvelous, wonderful, work and a wonder. You’re Wonder Woman in my mind — doing an extraordinary thing. I don’t know how that could make you anything but amazing.

  5. Kari says:

    You are the mom I want to be someday. You are not boring at all and I adore you.

  6. Krista says:

    ❤❤❤ this so much. So what if i don’t have my own small business during nap time or a large social media following since my pictures are all of my kids? Raising little humans and teaching them to be good people is the biggest, most impressive undertaking there is! You are so right on my dear.

  7. kylie says:

    this is amazing and beautiful and i want to be like you

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